hello :)

oh hey look, its another pointless blog using smiley faces and lower case letters! lets hear it for the world's stereotypical ways!! woo!

this blog basically is going to be my ramblings on my view on the world and life, etc.

i am yet another bored/boring person with no life whatsoever, here to waste your time and be pointlessly obsessive over strange things. im really really good at that. yep. you jealous?

i am a marching band geek and proud of it. xD yes. band is one of the best things ever. i play the mellophone, beautiful sound and instument in all :)

ill try very hard to get used to this technology, if anyone actually cares, but im slow.

also, if there are some spelling mistakes, i apologize. i try to reread, but im not perfect :)

i never use capitalization, unless theres some point im trying to get across, i just dont do it. i dont know, sorry if that bugs you i guess.

i. am. obsessed. with. words. not something you hear everyday, but people overuse words EVERYDAY. i am SICK of it. words are magical, delicious, gorgeous, depressing, misunderstood, angering, inspiring, meaningful, WORDS. i could go on. really, words are meant to be treasured and precious and... i dont know, words MEAN something to me. words... yes. i just overused that word. shutup. best said from a quote from my new favorite movie:

"No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world." -john keating, dead poets society. THE MOST AMAZING MOVIE EVER. in my humble opinion. watch it.

my favorite scene: afternoon d.p.s. meeting. nuwanda brings his saxophone, and starts screwing around on it with lines of poetry in between screwy little solos. then he starts playing this piece.... and i cry every time. i dont know how to describe it, it is simply beautiful.

the title of the blog is the name of a poem i wrote. rather good for me actually. here:

somewhere in between

the ground and the sky

somewhere in between the how and the why and im wondering when the shadows come back the silence caves in the picture go black cause im somewhere in between the pen and the page adrift in the words too hard to say somewhere in between the right and the wrong where the lines are crossed where the lines are drawn somewhere in between my heart and my mouth lost in translation lost in my doubt mmhhm some about me: i love music way too much for my own good. ESPECIALLY kill hannah and the cure. if you dont know them, for starters i suggest lovecats by the cure (WATCH the video, its awesome. plus, roberts so super adorable) link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbe47WQ6Rs0 and nerve gas http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YW0U-t3zJwU by kill hannah. however, you really cant go wrong with any song by them. they. are. amazing. yesss. plus, mat devine? yeah, BEASTLY. dont agree? so, so sad. by the way, READ HIS BLOG. he is literally the FUNNIEST person i have ever heard of. god, it never fails to crack me up. http://fuseblog.typepad.com/kill_hannah/

not my picture, sadly)

so.... watching the mental workout that is the dark knight. *sighs wistfully* so disturbing and haunting. so.... dark. the mentality of the joker can keep me thinking for HOURS. if no one thought heath ledger was a great actor, this movie proved them wrong. the raw character, the embodiment of insanity, and oh my gosh that laugh. you truly BELIEVE that someone like the joker is out there and is real and it terrifies you at the same time it excites you. i personally WANT there to be bad guys, deep down, because without the bad, you dont have the good. and the bad characters are what create intrigue and mystery and yeah.... plus, the fact that he changes the reason why his face was cut everytime he tells the story. i think that maybe he did it himself, but all i can do is speculate. just thinking too hard about this kind of stuff this late at night gives me a headache.

oh wow, here i go with my off-topic mind, but i was just thinking... is power real, or just an illusion? the reason people do homework and stay out of trouble is.... what, exactly? because the teacher punishes you? well, if you dont care, then the punishment will not have any affect on you, so therefore, there is no such thing as power...? however, watching the joker...... he truly does not care whether he lives or dies. he just does not care, which makes him so amazingly horrifying. so maybe not caring is the answer to power, because when people dont understand you, they fear you and your motives. and the jokers motives appear to not exist. its like everything is an experiment, like how far can i push peoples minds? how much longer can a group of human beings last? how far until they break and beg, sobbing at my feet, please please anything to let it just stop?

i would love for someone to prove me wrong. i hate it when people just nod their heads and agree to whatever the hell im saying. IM NOT RIGHT ALL THE TIME. im human. HUGE difference. anyways.

for your reading (and listening if your not lazy like me) pleasure; the cure, disintegration. amazing music in its most raw, pure form.

Oh I miss the kiss of treachery The shameless kiss of vanity The soft and the black and the velvety Up tight against the side of me And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed And run in thickening streams of greed As bit by bit it starts the need To just let go My party piece Oh I miss the kiss of treachery The aching kiss before I feed The stench of a love for a younger meat And the sound that it makes When it cuts in deep The holding up on bended knees The addiction of duplicities As bit by bit it starts the need To just let go My party piece But I never said I would stay to the end So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the scenery Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both us knew How the ending would be... So it's all come back round to breaking apart again Breaking apart like I'm made up of glass again Making it up behind my back again Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again Holding it up behind my head again Cut in deep to the heart of the bone again Round and round and round And it's coming apart again Over and over and over Now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces I'll pull out my heart And I'll feed it to anyone Crying for sympathy Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd And the three cheers from everyone Dropping through sky Through the glass of the roof Through the roof of your mouth Through the mouth of your eye Through the eye of the needle It's easier for me to get closer to heaven Than ever feel whole again I never said I would stay to the end I knew I would leave you with babies and everything Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity Screaming me over and over and over I leave you with photographs Pictures of trickery Stains on the carpet and Stains on the memory Songs about happiness murmured in dreams When we both of us knew How the end always is How the end always is...